When a group of Springboro teens were involved in a car accident recently, it hit home. That day, I allowed my almost-eighteen-year-old to drive a group of friends to an outing. He was to wait three months before doing this and I only agreed after I half-jokingly suggested he have the parents sign waivers. He rolled his eyes, but got the point that he or I could be liable if there was an accident. When I heard about the local accident, I felt profound empathy for the families involved. I was shocked to learn a friend’s child was involved, because she doesn’t allow her children to ride with teen drivers. How did this happen?

I recalled an interview I did with Radio-TV Interview Report on teen driving and thought it might be timely to share these recommendations.

For most teens, driving is a symbol of their independence and a rite of passage to adulthood. But driving is not a right; it is a privilege that brings responsibility. Not every teen is ready to drive and few are experienced enough to be responsible for passengers.

Age is not the only factor parents should consider when deciding whether their teen is ready to drive. Ask yourself:

• Is my teen aware of his surroundings or easily distracted and unaware of other drivers’ behavior?
• Does my teen have good reflexes? Is she coordinated or could she lose control doing two things at once, like driving and adjusting the radio?
• Does my teen take driving seriously? Is he cocky and reckless or cautious and careful?
• Does my teen have a good reason to drive? Does she have a job or extra-curricular activities?

Sorry, but no teen should get a new car on a silver platter, expense-free. Consider your options:

• Most people take more care with things they’ve earned than with gifts.
• Drivers are more likely to show off in a new or high performance car.
• Older cars may need more repairs, but teens learn about car maintenance and self-repairs.
• Insurance is higher for teen drivers and new cars. You can control one factor.
• Newer cars have good safety features, but crumble easier and are costly to repair. There’s protection in a steel tank.
• Tanks are usually gas-guzzlers, so teens think twice before taking joy rides — especially if they buy the gas.

Which raises the issue of agreements parents should get — before a teen drives:

• Have teens pay for gas and at least part of the insurance payment and the car’s cost or monthly payments. They will need to get a job and budget their money. Don’t feel guilty asking this. If teens want adult privileges, they need to manage them.
• If they damage the car, they pay the deductible. If the damage is their fault, they give up driving until they pay for all damages.
• If they get a driving-related ticket, they pay the ticket and give up driving one week for every $10 they were fined.
• Limit driving to legal curfew hours. They need to be home by 11 p.m. on weekdays and midnight on the weekends.
• They need to have a specific destination they are driving to, instead of just "cruising."
• They can only drive their car or another family car with permission. They are never to drive someone else’s car, even if the owner gives them permission, unless you approve.
• They must drive by themselves the first year. The second year, they can have one passenger. No carpooling until they are eighteen-years-old and all passengers must wear seat belts.
• A child must have parental permission to ride with a teen driver, whom the parent knows and trusts. Your teen must be the only passenger until they are eighteen. If another parent or teen tells your child it’s okay to ride with a teen, your child must still get your permission.

In the Springboro car accident, at least one of the teens had been given these instructions — repeatedly. But other parents and teens made poor decisions that her child didn’t resist — and it had life-threatening consequences. So above all else, we want to teach our children, from an early age, to think through their decisions and consider all possible outcomes before acting.

I guarantee that if parents follow these guidelines their teens can avoid some preventable accidents. I also guarantee teens won’t like these rules. Refuse to argue and stand firm on safety issues. Tell them you know they are safe drivers, but there are crazy drivers out there. You have these rules because you love them and want them to avoid problems. If they are safe, responsible drivers, they will see the value of these rules.

I can’t guarantee that if parents do all these things, their children won’t be involved in a tragic accident. That’s where prayer comes in. Sometimes that’s all we can do to protect our children when they are away from home. Clearly, an army of guardian angels was watching out for the teens in that car, for the fact that none of them were killed or permanently paralyzed is nothing short of a miracle. I know our community joins me in praying daily for each of the families involved and their child’s recuperation.

Jody Johnston Pawel is a Licensed Social Worker, Certified Family Life Educator, second-generation parent educator, founder of The Family Network, and President of Parents Toolshop Consulting. She is the author of 100+ parent education resources, including her award-winning book, The Parent's Toolshop. For 25+ years, Jody has trained parents and family professionals through her dynamic workshops and interviews with the media worldwide, including Parents and Working Mother magazines, and the Ident-a-Kid television series. Jody currently serves as the online parenting expert for Cox Ohio Publishing’s mom-to-mom websites and also serves on the Advisory Board of the National Effective Parenting Initiative.

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