|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
A ABC-123-D Steps 57, 79, 428 Abuse; child 118, 121, 338 Abusive relationships 29, 295, 352 Accountability 263 Addictions to praise 91 to rewards 120 ADHD 11, 65, 297-300 diagnosing 297 external rewards 299 medication 300 primary symptoms 298 resources 311 treating 299 types 299 Adults misbehavior 336 PU behavior 296 types of problems 57 Advice 151, 413 giving 177, 413 inaccurate 41, 87 parenting 2 screening 23, 41, 414 Affirmations 105, 424 Aggressive anger 236 communication 259 Agreements 271 conditional 399, 408 confirming 272 Alcohol 340 Allowances 141-143 and chores 142 budgeting 143 credit 142 three-level plan 143 Anger 232 a-b-c steps 234, 259 aggressive 236, 428 assertive 237, 428 constructive 233 cycle 234 defusing others 249 destructive 233 energy 244 expressing 267 flash fires 429 healthy 233 log 253-255 outlets 244 passive 236, 430 passive-aggressive 237 personalized plan 246 physical effects 233 physical outlets 245 resources 256 smoldering embers 431 styles 236 summary 252 teaching children skills 247 trigger buttons 243 types of energy 244 verbal outlets 244 Apologies conditional 267, 428 from children 217, 360 parental 358 Arguing 51, 75, 178, 276, 326, 347 avoiding 327 with parenting partners 412 Ask helpful questions 197 Assertive anger 237 communication 260 expressing anger 267 teaching children skills 147 Attachment; bonding 91 Attention-seeking behavior 322, 324, 342, 343 Autism 297 Autocratic parenting 32 Avoiders 34, 52 B Balanced Parenting 37, 48, 50, 52 Baths 135 Bedtime 69, 129, 132, 274, 291 problems 378 routines 132 Behavior charts 120 and ADHD 299 Behavior goals 342, 343 identifying 321 shifting 327, 328 Behavior modification 119, 428 (Also see “behavior charts”) Beliefs 45, 235, 237 aggressive 236 assertive 237 Avoider 34 backpack analogy 158 Balanced parenting 37 choosing 235 helpful 236 negative 235 Over-controlling 28 Over-indulgence 35 passive 236 passive-aggressive 237 Perfectionistic Supervisor 31 religious 41, 286 rewriting 51, 237 Under-Controlling 33 Bickering 214 Bike safety 307, 347 Biting 72, 218 Blaming 177, 263, 428 Blended families 271, 347 discipline in 360 family councils 388 Body language 182, 265 Boredom 346 Borrowing 270 Bossiness 136, 270 Brain research 91 Brainstorming 200, 276 (also see “Problem solving”) Bribery 117, 428 Bullies 199, 216 C C/P problems 70, 259 Career decisions 155 Car seats, resisting 378 Child abuse 118, 121, 338 Child-friendly 131, 146, 152, 428 Child problems 62, 167, 266 taking over 168 Child Problem Toolbox 58, 62, 166, 225 Child-proofing 157 Choices 122-125, 326 adjusting as issues shift 362 Chores 83, 133, 142, 264, 270, 271, 277 and allowances 142 apprentices 145 goals of not doing 334 motives for not doing 56 young children 157 Cleaning 133, 285, 316, 334 (also see “chores” and “messes”) teaching skills 146 Clear Communication Toolset 58, 258 agreements 271 describe effect of behavior 269 describe feelings 267 describe what you see 266 family councils 395 flash codes 275 nonverbal reminders 273 notes 274 problem solving 275 PU problems 304 quick reminders 273 rules/limits 131, 271 state expectations 270 use one word 274 Clinginess 156, 307 Cliqués 116, 199, 295 Clothing/hair styles 155, 310, 315 appropriate 164 Common problems early elementary 309 infants 307 late elementary 309 preschoolers 309 preteens 310 toddlers 307 Communication 258 aggressive 259, 428 assertive 260, 428 barriers when listening 175 contradictory messages 264 double messages 264 fax analogy 172 hidden messages 261 listening 175 male/female 174, 295 nonverbal 261 passive 260, 430 problem-solving styles 172 shifting gears 273 styles of 259 tools 266 Community service 402 Comparisons 100, 101 Competition 100, 429 sports 102, 365 unhealthy 102, 432 Complaining 187, 235, 396 Compromise 263 Confessions 264 Confidence 105 parental 423 Conflict resolution non-violent options 215 Conquerors 173, 428 Consensus decision-making 397, 428 Consequences inconvenience 429 logical 368 natural 363 Consistency 410, 428 Cooperation Toolset 113 avoid bribery 117 child-friendly 131 choices in limits 122 don’t say “don’t” 125 humor 130 no “no’s” 127 plan ahead 121 politeness 131 PU problems 303 routines 132 rules for setting rules 131 summary 134 tools 117 vs. obedience 114 Counseling 294 and ADHD 300 Criticism 396, 415 constructive 95, 428 of parents 310, 415 responding to 416 setting limits 417 Crying 307 on purpose 334 Curfew 67, 269, 270, 276, 278, 286, 364 discipline for lying 340 Curiosity 307 Cussing 66, 302, 319 D Dangerous behavior 67, 324, 330 Dating 295, 310 Death; explaining 250, 256, 402 Decision-making; consensus 397 Defiant compliance 237, 325, 429 Definitions 428 Defusing anger 249 Demanding one's way 324 Dependency 153 Depression 251 Destructive behavior during timeouts 372 tantrums 74 Development 291 delays 290, 429 elementary 292 infants 291 preschoolers 292 preteens 293 rates 290 resources 291 stages 289 style 289 teens 294 toddlers 291 Disagreements negotiating 263 with partners 43, 412 Disappointment 268 Discipline 39, 56, 353 and ADHD 299 canceling 357 checklist 374 deciding severity 357 four R’S 354 inconvenient consequence 368 in family councils 395 involve children in deciding 358, 364, 365, 370 logical consequences 368 long-term effects 358 making amends 360 natural consequences 363 offering choices 362 reasonable 356, 357 reasons to use last 11, 320, 328, 330, 334, 368 related 356 respectful 358 restrictions 364 revealing 354 revengeful 329, 352, 356, 357, 368 setting time limits 356 summary of 375 taking action 362 time limits 357 time-outs 369 tools 360 trouble-shooting guide 374 vs. punishment 359 wording as a choice 362 Discipline Toolset 59 Discouragement 61, 90, 153, 331 Disrespect; toward parents 99, 126, 147, 267, 310, 315, 330 Distraction 305 Diversity 149 Divorce 106, 271, 336 effects on children 106, 339 family councils 387, 407 PO cycle 336 responding to children's questions 154 stepparents 347, 360 Domestic violence 31, 295, 352 Don’t Say “Don’t” 125, 326 Double standards 429 Driving 67, 155, 272, 310, 364 Drugs 328, 347, 348, 381 addressing suspicions 340 ADHD medication 300 discipline for 381 E Eating habits 89, 117, 164, 309, 422 (also see “Food”) Education (also see “School”) parent, self 424 Ego-esteem 87, 429 Elementary issues common problems 75, 309 development 292 early 292, 309 independence 157 late 293, 309 Embarrassment parents' 268 sparing children's 264, 266, 273, 275 Emotions using for PO goals 334 Encouragement 87, 323 parent;self 105 self-affirmations 105, 424 when teaching skills 146 Environmental engineering 305 Exaggerations 267 Expectations differences in 140 realistic for self 15, 423 stating 270 External problem solvers 173, 429 External recharge 429 children 370 activities 242 Extracurricular activities 64, 72, 293, 365 misbehavior during 365 F Failure 104, 151 (see “Mistakes”) reminding of past 264 Fairness 89 Family Councils 386 agenda options 390, 391 appropriate topics 395 benefits 387 blended families 360, 388 discussing discipline 395 discussion topic ideas 403 duration 394 early elementary 293 emergency meetings 50, 392 expressing concerns 396 formal format 390 foster parents 388 getting started 393 ground rules 395, 396 ice-breaker activities 403 informal format 391 late elementary 294 lesson ideas 401 listening to concerns 396 maintenance meetings 393 making decisions 397 pitfalls to avoid 396 preteens 294 problem-solving steps 397 purpose of 386 resources 390, 401 roles 388 sample agenda 404 scheduling 394 setting 394 summary sheet 405 teens 295 time limits 394 trouble-shooting guide 399 voting 392 young children 292, 393 Family therapy 300 Fashion fads 307, 310 (also see “Clothing”) Favoritism 89, 100 F-A-X communication 172 F-A-X Listening 179 brainstorming 200 family councils 396 formula 185 giving information 199 identifying feelings 181 questions 197, 198 tools 181, 183, 303 trouble-shooting guide 223 when to take next step 202 X-amine possible solutions 200 Fears 193, 206, 226 Feelings 181 alternatives to "angry" 267 cartoon 183 denying 177 expressing 267 identifying 181 peeling onions 170 secondary emotions 182, 234, 267, 431 Fighting 216, 306, 315, 365 defense moves 217 making amends 360 Flash codes 275 Food allergies 65, 311 bribes 117 complaints 89, 235 eating disorders 117 picky eaters 131, 164, 309, 379 Forgetfulness 126, 334, 364 Forgiveness 140, 246 Foster parents 43 and family councils 388 Foundation-Building Toolset 21, 48, 49 Avoiders 34 Balanced parenting 37-44 believe it, see it 45 double standards 46 Over-controlling 28 Over-Indulgers 35 parenting styles 28-44 Perfectionistic Supervisor 31 Power Patrol 29 PU problems 302 role model 47 summary sheet 49 tools 44 Under-controlling 33 Friends (also see “Peers/Friends”) parents as 262 Fussiness 307 G Gangs 116, 218, 222 Giving up 326, 331, 342, 343 Goals family 23 individual 23 setting realistic 155, 423 societal 24 God, (also see “Spiritual references”) Gossip 295 Grabbing 308 Grades 268 (also see “School,” “Homework”) Grandparents 43 spoiling children 422 Guilt 264, 268, 429 self- 423 unhealthy 264, 432 H Habits; resistance to change 14, 247 Healthy family traits 23 Healthy paranoia 429 Hidden messages 261 Historical trends autocratic 32 balanced parenting 41 permissiveness 36 Homework 61, 73, 83, 219, 293, 294, 335 completing 135 forgetting 364 time management 219 Honesty 338 (also see “Lying”) Hormones 294, 310 House diagram 1, 409 detailed 436 Human Bill of Rights 261 Humor 130, 268, 273, 326 Hyperactivity 298 I Identifying problems 59-60, 77 Child vs. Parent 62 individual answers 59, 78 misjudging 75 PO goals 342 problem shifts 75 PU vs. PO 65, 289, 319 questions 60 SHARP RV 60, 62 summary 60 Ignoring behavior 304, 324 Illustrations anger cycle 234 backpack analogy 158 balanced independence 138 balancing scale (3 styles) 25 belief>feeling>action 44 C/P pie charts 72 council role rotation 389 dominoes of anger cycle 234 fax communication 172 feeling words cartoon 183 growth in waves 423 Positive goals 323 Power struggles 123 problem-solving steps 172 with F-A-X 181 problems are like onions 55 toolbox>toolsets>tools 8 volcano, stress overload 239 volcano, trigger button 243 when to ask questions 197 Imagination; toddlers 292 Impulsiveness 298 Inconsistent parenting styles 43, 412 Independence 138 answering questions 154 ask their opinion 153 Balanced limits 139 definition 138 elementary age 157 handling mistakes 151 infants 157 let go 157 let them dream 155 notice the difficulty 153 nudge, don’t push 156 openly model behavior 144 Over-controlling 139 preschoolers 157 privacy 155, 198, 214, 337 quick tips 150 responsibility 139, 151 teaching skills 144 teens 158, 295 toddlers 157, 292 tools 144 Under-controlling 139 using outside resources 154 Independence Toolset PU problems 303 Individuation 67, 158, 293, 294, 429 backpack analogy 158 safe options 68, 307 Infants 75, 291 and discipline 368 common problems 307 developmental issues 291 independence 157 In-laws 43 pressure/criticism from 412, 416 Internal motivation 323 Internal problem solver 173, 430 Internal recharge 430 activities 241 children 370 Interrupting 272, 322, 325 Intuition 423 J Jobs 136, 156, 194, 295 Judging 96, 177 Junior high 294, 310 Juvenile delinquency 30 K Keep Your Cool Toolset 58, 232, 252 (also see “Anger”) Kidnapping 118 (also see “Child abuse”) L Labeling 98, 178 Latch-key children 35, 369 Lateness 156, 264, 270, 278, 364, 381 Laundry 132, 271, 274 Learning disabilities 297 Learning styles 289, 300, 428, 430 developmental pace 290 eight intelligences 300 resources 311 see/hear/do 125, 144, 300 whole/part 55 Lectures 269, 270, 273, 279, 396 Let go 157 poem 160 Limits 122, 428 (also see “Rules,” “Choices,” “Clear Communi-cation Toolset”) Listening 179, 273 (also see “F-A-X Listening”) responding to nonverbal messages 182 response formula 185 responses 183 trouble-shooting guide 189 Logical consequences 368 Lying 99, 337-339 developmental stages 338 discipline 380 following divorce 339 modeling honesty 286, 338 motives for 337 summary 340 M Maintenance Toolbox 59, 73, 78, 384 Makeup 154 Making amends 360 apologies 217 suggestions 360 Manners 235 Marriage 174 Mealtime 309 (also see “Food,” “Picky eaters”) routines 132 picky eaters 379 Mediation 204, 208, 430 Medical conditions 65, 296 (also see “ADHD”) Medication 300 Meditation 240, 256 Mental retardation 297 Messes 266, 270 (also see “Cleaning,” “Chores”) Military 41, 126 Misbehavior adult 336, 416 during family councils 401 in public 81, 412 PU vs. PO 60, 289, 312, 319 purpose behind 322 Mistakes 151, 103 making amends for 361 parental 411 Modeling behavior 99, 326 openly model behavior 144, 430 Money bribes 118 budgeting 143 earning 142 Moralizing 179 Mornings routines 81, 82, 156, 157 delays 380 Motivation internal 91, 114, 323 v. bribery 119 Myths consistency 410 correcting parenting 420 N Nagging 69, 323, 396 Name-calling 178, 328 Natural consequences 363 No "No's" 127, 326 No problems 61, 167, 258 Non-violence 215 Nonverbal communication 261 body language 265 notes 274 signals 273 Notes 93, 274 encouragement 93 of apology 275 Nudge, don't Push 156, 327 Nutrition 309 (also see “Food,” “Picky eaters”) picky eaters 379 O Obedience 114, 430 dangers of 116 Offering choices 122, 326, 362 Onions; problems are like 55 Only children 400 Opinions children's 153, 326 difference of 263 listening to teens' 189 Organizing belongings 146 Over-Controlling parenting 28, 48 Over-Indulger 35, 50, 52 Over-stimulation 74 P Parent education 299 Parent Problem Toolbox 58, 230 when to use 230 Parent problems 63, 167, 230, 258, 266 Parent's Toolshop field test results 4 suggestions for use 13 unique qualities of 2 Parental concerns 60, 267, 269, 275, 276 about children’s friends 221 using helpful questions 199 Parenting Avoider 34, 428 Balanced 37, 428 conscious 24 inconsistent 43, 412 myths 418, 420 over-compensation cycles 43, 430 Over-controlling 28, 430 Over-indulgent 50, 430 partners 22, 43, Perfectionistic Supervisor 31, 430 permissive 36, 430 Power Patrol 29, 431 Under-controlling 33, 432 Summary sheet 48 Parties, teen 316 PASRR formula 7, 58, 430 Passive anger 236 communication 260 Passive-aggressive anger 237 communication 260 Peers/Friends 62, 220 acceptance 323 bullies 199, 216 cliqués 199, 295 conflicts with 63, 204 mediation 204, 208, 422 non-violent conflict resolution 215 parental concerns about 221 pressure 92, 116, 295, 310, 323 Perfectionism 103 Declaration of Imperfection 16 Perfectionistic Supervisors 31, 52 Permissiveness 36 Personality 65, 295 accepting choices 123 traits 295 Personal space 210 Perspective choosing 44, 237 Pets 136, 266, 274 Picky eaters 131, 164, 235, 309 Plan Ahead 121 Playpens 163 PO problems 65, 289 attention 322 giving up 331 identifying 319, 342 payoffs 320 positive goals 322 power 325 preventing 320 revenge 328 summary of steps 342 using emotions to meet 334 vs. PU 65, 289, 319 with more than one goal 346 PO Toolset 58, 318, 343 Poems Autobiography in Five Short Chapters 427 Let go 160 Listen 180 Positive goals of behavior 322 identifying 346 Positive/negative reinforcement 90 Positive words 125 Potty training 156, 290, 291 pressure to 422 Pouting 325 Power Patrols 29, 50, 52 Power struggles 123, 325 preventing 123, 326 redirecting 347 tantrums 74 Praise 87 "junkies" 91, 431 Prayer 240 Preaching 179 Prejudice 149 Preschoolers 75, 127, 292, 309 (also see “Young children”) independence 157 Pressure from friends and relatives 412 peer (see “Peers/friends”) to spank 351, 422 Preteens 75, 293 common problems 310 developmental issues 294 independence 158 Prevention Toolbox 20, 58 family councils 395 Pride 92, 429, 432 Privacy 155, 198, 214, 337 after divorce 339 need to know issues 155 Privileges earning 141 restricting 70, 72, 364 Problem types 56 C/P problems 70, 335 Child problems 62, 167 identifying 60, 77, 78, 288 No problems 61, 167, 258 overwhelming 73 Parent problems 63, 167, 230, 258 PO Problems 65, 68, 319 PU problems 66, 288 questions to identify 60 SHARP RV 60, 62, 78 Problem solving 196, 200 approach conflicts 174 ask helpful questions 197 discussing discipline 365 family councils 204, 397 lead-in questions 200 on the run, Child problems 204 on the run, Parent problems 278 Parent problems 204, 275 steps 200, style conflicts 174 styles 172 summary 225 timing conflicts 174 trial period 202 two-party 275 when to take steps 202 with teachers 220 worksheet 205 young children 203 Procrastination 163, 334 Property 60, 62, 78 damaging 378, 379 disputes 212 Puberty 294, 310 Public misbehavior 412 Punishment 350 adult PO goals 336 four R’S 353 long-term effects 351 physical 351 power plays 327 revengeful 329, 352, 356, 357, 359, 368 threats 355 vs. discipline 359 PU problems 65, 288 ADHD 289 early elementary 309 identifying 60, 65, 288 infants 307 late elementary 309 medical conditions 297 personality 67, 295 preschoolers 309 preteens 310 redirecting 304 teens 310 toddlers 307 turning into PO 66, 302, 319, 431 vs. PO 60, 65, 289, 312, 319 PU Toolset 288, 312 acceptable alternatives 305 distraction 305 environmental engineering 305 identifying PU problems 60, 289, 312 ignoring 304 PASRR formula 306 summary 312 targeting behavior 306 tools 304, 312 Q Questions 197 answering 163 evaluating ideas 201 helpful 198 lead-in to problem solving 200 responding to "why?" 292 to reveal concerns 199 unhelpful 178 vague responses to 198 Quick reminders 273 Quick tips 150 R Rebellion 158, 353, 431 (also see “Individuation,” “Power strug-gles,” “Testing behavior”) Recharge styles 241 Regression 15, 290, 431 Relatives; disciplining in front of 412 Relaxation 240 Religious references 41, 89, 240 (also see “scriptural”) Reminders 79, 273 Reminding 69 Rescuing 153, 164, 332 Resistance to change 14, 247 Resources 256, 311 anger management 256 angry teens 256 class meetings 388 developmental stages 291, 311 family councils 390, 401 food allergies 311 fussy babies 307 learning games 311 learning styles 311 marriage/couple communication 175 medical advice 311 meditation 256 sleep problems 307 spanking 382 stay-at-home parents 305 teens 311 using outside 163 violence prevention 401 young children 311 Respect 28, 33, 38, 262 for children's opinions 153 for diversity 149 Responsibility 64, 139, 151, 431 denying 263 for Child problems 168 for others 168 three types 139 Restrictions 221, 364 deciding severity of 365 progressive 431 regressive 365 Revenge 237, 326, 328, 342, 343 Rewards 118 and ADHD 299 Rights 28, 33, 37 Human Bill of 261 Role modeling 47, 431 openly model behavior 144 Role playing 202 Roles/labels 98 Roughhousing 216 Routines 132, 326, 431 and ADHD 299 Rudeness 147, 272, 279 (also see “disrespect”) Rules 28, 33, 39, 131, 271, 326 hidden 271 violating 70 Running away 268, 346 S Safety 60, 67, 78 car seats 378 wearing gear 238, 307, 347, 362 Sarcasm 260, 431 Sassing 99, 267(also see “disrespect”) Schedules; extracurricular 64 School 62, 218 and ADHD 299 class meetings 388 conflicts with teachers 220 discipline 294 homework 61, 219 (also see “Homework”) junior high/middle school 294 poor grades 365 problems 63, 335 rules 293, 294 Scriptural references (also see “Spiritual,” “Religious”) discipline 353 revenge 330 spanking 351 Secrets; good and bad 338 Security objects 188 Self-Esteem Toolset 85, 108 definition 86, 431 descriptive 96 handling mistakes 103 non-competition 101 no roles/labels 98 notice improvement 94 positive focus 93 PU problems 303 self-encouragement 105 self-image 86 self-motivation 91 tools 88, 108 unconditional love 88 Self-image 86 Self-talk after praise 96 parental 105 Separation 157, 308 security objects 188 teens going out alone 381 Setting limits 122, 270 with adults 417 Sex abuse; good/bad secrets 338 (also see “Child abuse”) premarital 295 Shame 264 (also see “guilt”) Sharing 81, 212, 292 SHARP RV 60, 62, 78, 167 Shopping 89, 136, 268, 280, 286, 303, 328, 369, 422 Siblings 62, 207 apologies 217 bickering 214 bully/victim roles 216 feelings 170 fighting 216 intervening 208 mediation 204, 208 personal space 163, 210 property disputes 212 punishing 264 roles and labels 98 roughhousing 216 tattling 214 teasing 215 Silent treatment 324, 328, 334 Single parenting 90, 106 (also see “Divorce”) family councils 387, 390 Sleep problems infants 307 resources 311 toddlers 308 Smart-aleck 267 (also see “Arguing,” “Disrespectful”) Spanking 336, 351 pressure to 422 Spirited children 67, 295 Spiritual references 41, 89, 240 Spoiling 36, 87, 291, 308, 322, 422, 351 Sports 102, 365 Stay-at-home parents 305 stress management 242 Stealing 362 Step-parenting 347 discipline 360 Stress management 239 activities 239 for children 250 personalized plan 246 recharge styles 241 resources 256 Strong-willed children (also see “Spi-rited” and “Power struggles”) Suicide 103, 328 Summaries Balanced Parenting Style 48 Clear Communication Toolset 283 Cooperation Toolset 134 detailed house 446 Discipline Toolset 375 discipline vs. punishment 359 family council activities 403 family council agenda 404 Family Council Toolset 405 F-A-X Listening Toolset 191 Foundation-Building Toolset 49 Independence Toolset 161 Keep Your Cool Toolset 252 Language of Encouragement 109 lying 337 obedience vs. cooperation 116 parenting styles 48 PASRR response formula 58 PO Toolset, goal comparison 342 PO Toolset, responses 343 praise vs. encouragement 88 Problem-Solving Toolset 225 Problem Type Identification 60 PU Toolset 312 Self-Esteem Toolset 108 suggestions for use 13 Three C's 426 toolboxes and toolsets 8 Universal Blueprint flowchart 77 Support groups 424 T Tantrums 74, 248, 325 public 371 resources 311 Tattling 214, 431 Taunting 215, 432 Teaching skills 144 and ADHD 300 behavior 147 defense moves 217 physical tasks 146 role playing 202 time management 293 timing 95 values 269 Teamwork 116, 323 Teasing 136, 215, 432 Teens 75, 294 angry 256 choices 124 chores 133 clothing/hair styles 155, 315 depression 251 developmental issues 294 driving 272, 364 encouraging 95 encouraging to talk 176 fads 158 family councils 390 feelings 189 friends/peers 221 gangs 116, 218, 222 independence 103, 158 individuation 67, 158, 159 jobs 136 logical consequences 364, 368 natural consequences 364 parties 136 peer pressure 116, 221 privacy 155 problem-solving 204 rebellion 127, 158 resources 311 routines 132 rules 132 suicide 103 values 269, 279 Telephone parents' use 325 teens' use 310 Territory 214 Testing behavior 334 Therapy 18 Threats 69, 179, 354, 396 Throwing 308 Time-outs 369 activities 371 family 248 individual plan 372 locations 370 parental 239 power 431 public 371 setting time limits 372 Toddlers 75, 127, 291 (also see “Young children”) choices 124 common problems 307 communicating with 279 curiosity 292 developmental issues 291 discipline 368 feelings 170, 188 independence 157 learning styles 125 “no” stage 127 problem solving 203 routines 132 Toilet training 156, 290, 291 Tots (see “Toddlers”) Touch 91 Toys fights over 213 organizing 147 Transitional period 292, 432 Trial period 202, 277 Trigger buttons 243, 432 re-programming 244 Trouble-shooting guides discipline 374 family councils 399 listening 189 problem-solving 223 when tools don't work 16 True/false quiz 5 Tweens (see “Elementary issues”) Two-party problem solving 275 U Unconditional love 88 of self 106 Under-Controlling Parenting 33, 48 Universal Blueprint 60, 77, 78, 432 ABC-123-D steps 57, 79 identifying problem types 60 individualized plan 59 overview 9 PASRR formula 58 selecting tools 71 summary 60, 77-79, 446 toolbox 7, 432 toolsets 8, 432 V Values 62, 159, 269, 286 conflict of 269 religious 286 teaching 149 teens 279 Venters 173, 432 Victimization 118, 121, 338, 352 sexual abuse 118 Violence/gangs 116, 218, 222 Visualization 240 Voting 38, 397 temporary votes 399 W Warnings 179 (also see “Threats”) Whining 126, 304, 308, 322 Wishes in Fantasy 129 Withdrawal 330 Worksheets Anger Log 254 Decision-Making Worksheet 376 Parenting Styles Quiz 26 Problem-Solving 205 Myth/Truth quiz 5 Y Young children 153 (also see “Tod-dlers” and “Preschoolers”) family councils 389 feelings 188 problem-solving 203 sharing 81, 213 |
|
|
|
